Note: this isn't poetry and might do better in my normal blog, but I feel compelled to put it here instead. maybe one day it will make it to my normal blog....

I feel alone, abandoned, and unloved… I need an escape. I want to do things I know I shouldn’t. I don’t want to talk about it, I want to run from it. I have always dealt with these feeling so negatively. I don’t know how much longer it will be before I break. I am not strong enough. I need more than clichés to make me feel better. I need ppl that really care. by all means, pray for me, but don’t through Christian clichés in my face and think they are going to do me any good. I know all the book answers. I know what to tell ppl when they feel like this. the one thing I don’t know is how to make all those words help. I don’t think you can do that. I think ppl just need to be held. I know I need someone to cry with. I need someone that isn’t going to tell me I just need more faith. those words mean nothing right now. those words seem belittling and pious at best! I need real compassion, not just a façade. I need real ppl being real about their struggles and questions, not a bunch of talking heads.